Belonging Between Two Worlds - Ruth Van Reken

Episode Overview

In this enlightening episode of Nomadic Diaries, Doreen Cumberford and  Megan Norton-Newbanks welcome renowned author and expert Ruth Van Reken, whose work on third culture kids (TCKs) has impacted countless lives globally. The conversation centers on belonging, identity, and the often-complex emotional terrain of those who grow up between cultures.

What You'll Hear

1. Ruth’s Origin Story and Journey

• Ruth’s personal experience of being a third culture kid raised in Nigeria, drawing parallels with her father’s similar upbringing in Iran and her own children’s formative years in Liberia.
• The internal challenges faced despite a privileged, adventurous life—silent grief and lack of belonging—and how journaling led Ruth to uncover deeper truths about cross-cultural identity.

2. The Birth of the “Third Culture Kid” Concept

• Ruth’s first encounter with the term TCK and her collaboration with Dave Pollock, which resulted in the foundational book Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds.
• Insights into the writing process, the evolution of the TCK concept, and the ongoing development of the term "cross cultural kid" for inclusivity.

3. Normalizing the Experience of Displacement and Grief

• Why naming the experience is powerful, how sharing stories cultivates belonging and healing, and Ruth’s hope to normalize feelings of isolation and loneliness.
• The importance of making these concepts accessible to educators, counselors, and community leaders.

4. Belonging – Local and Global

• Discussion about belonging in various circles—family, local communities, and global networks.
• The difference between experiential and geographical belonging, and how third culture kids can feel at home in many places (and sometimes nowhere in particular).

5. Sowing Narratives Together

• The power and therapeutic effect of sharing our hidden stories—the secret shames and quiet pains that many TCKs carry.
• Transformative moments from Ruth’s own life, including her 80th birthday celebration, where her two worlds—local and global—beautifully converged.

6. Navigating Difficult Questions

• Tips and reflections on answering the classic expat question, "Where are you from?" with grace, and using it as a gateway to deeper connection instead of retreating behind simple answers.

Key Quotes

• "When we share the things that are secret in those places that we think nobody feels like this, that's when people put their hand up or come on the side and say, 'But I do.' I had no idea anybody else felt like this." Ruth Van Reken
• "Belonging is more than just the place. But you can find that contentment in where you are if you live it fully." Ruth Van Reken